She is numb from her toes down

[8ftbed]

South African Hospital Register write ups…
July 8, 2008
 


Actual writings in Mpumalanga Hospital Register

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

[ksdstny]

oh dear lord you're kidding me right? where'd you find that?

[khybeemaow]

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

I've seen some massive ones that I thought would start ambulating too

[8ftbed]

God bless Google

For some reason I'd googled Swahili Swank and ran into this blog when following one of the links.   Who knew!  


Patient was alert and unresponsive

could that be bi-polar ?

[ksdstny]

God bless Google

For some reason I'd googled Swahili Swank and ran into this blog when following one of the links.   Who knew!  


Patient was alert and unresponsive

could that be bi-polar ?

so the question of the day is

what in the name of gawd made you google swahili swank?

buahhahahahaha

[winwinsmom]

Did I miss something here?

[kavrno]

As a former Medical Transcriptionist for 10 years I would have to say these are true.  You would be amazed at some of the things that get typed because of not paying attention or typo's not to mention the doctor mumbling, eating or talking at mock 10. ,

[8ftbed]

Did I miss something here?

uhhhh, no.  I just stumbled across some funny but true entries and shared them.

you see the accidental humor is something like   
"The patient refused autopsy"      right? 

[winwinsmom]

Ahhhhh......that's what I sorta thought in the beginning.....but didn't want to take any chances of saying something "blondish"....if you get my drfit.

[My Chloe]

OMG that cracked me up!!  I hope I never end up in their ER

[emmabull]

That was too funny! 

[My Chloe]

Blaine, your new siggy has been cracking me up!  The movie Office Space is one of my all-time favorite movies.  I could watch it over and over. 

[Niccirf]

^^^me too (love the new sig AND love Office Space)
I have the red swingline at work and guard it with my life

[8ftbed]

    I had a visitor needing help at the office Friday although he was clueless as to what it was I needed to fix for him.  He reminded me of Melvin though. 

After reading this list,  now I have a good idea where that joke came from about being an example of a  "premature baby born late"   (or something like that)