I think we may have a tough decision to make...

[My Little Leo]

Well, last night Derek was dangling his foot off the bed, and Prissy was sitting on the floor near him, and she bit his foot! It was pretty bad, though not the worst bite she has given us... No trip to the ER this time, but Derek looks pretty funny walking today. 

After it happened and we got Derek's foot cleaned up I just started bawling because I wondered if we would be silly to keep Prissy after the baby is born... She hasn't bitten since last November, when I had to go to the ER, but that was because I was trying to break up a fight between Leo and Prissy. This time was totally unprovoked..

I know that we would be really careful with the baby, we would never leave a child unattended with either Leo or Prissy, but I guess last night just made me realize that Prissy still can be unpredictable at times. She is such a sweetheart 99% of the time...

I honestly don't think I am capable of giving her up. It took a year for her to be completely herself, and when I think of how scared she was when she first came here, it would break my heart to have to make her start all over somewhere else, when she has come so far with us!

Derek thinks that it won't really be an issue, at least until the baby will be walking, but is it really fair to keep Prissy confined away from the baby, and thus, all of us, most of the time??? And I guess I can see us becoming more lenient as time goes on without any incidents, and then an accident is bound to happen! Also, because she is seven, there is the possibility that she won't be around by the time the baby is walking, but she is such a spunky little girl, I am sure she's got at least another 4-5 years in her!

*sigh* I just don't know what the best thing to do would be... I want to make sure that everyone is safe and happy, especially poor Prissy.. she doesn't deserve to be shuffled around to another home, or be kept confined in a separate room while the rest of us carry on with our day...

Also, if we were to give her up, I would have to mention how many times she has bitten us and drawn blood... which is quite a few. Now, there has always been a reason, like the time she was sleeping between my feet and I moved my leg over her which startled her awake so she bit...  She does startle easily due to being deaf, and on all the occasions she has bitten, she has released almost immediately, but the last few times she has just latched on and not let go.  I know that Lissa had a hard time finding a home for her, which is why we both drove a full day in order to get her to me! It will just be that much harder to find another place for her now... And to be honest, I don't think I would be happy with anyone else having her, not when we have come so far with her.

My sister has been trying to convince me that it is not smart to have a known biter in the same household as a child, no matter how careful we plan to be, but I love Prissy so much, I just can't fathom giving her away... even typing this is making me teary... I just don't know what to do! I really thought that we had "cured" her of her biting, by making her feel completely safe and secure, but I guess she is still scared of us, on some level, and that breaks my heart, too!

Sorry this is so long, I guess I am just rambling, trying to get all my thoughts out... Any advice or thoughts on the matter would be greatly appreciated...
 

[Gracie & Bea's Mom]

Wow!! I don't know what to say as I have never been in this situation before.  Maybe, if you just wait and see what happens--if she is jealous of the baby and acts aggressively to her then she might have to be kept away from the baby or she might just adore the baby . . .  A decision doesn't have to be made right now in the heat of the moment.

[mgjernigan]

I know how you feel. We have a Bullie named Georgia & we were worried about bringing our son home. She's not so much a biter, she's just rough & she will bite us, but only when we're wrestling.
Talk to your pediatrician about it. Our Dr. recommended my husband walk in the house w/ the baby when we got home so she wouldn't associate my being gone with the baby. 3 years later, Georgia hasn't bitten our son - even when he gets rough with her. Georgia will give warning growls though. We even had a rottweiler in the house and we've never had a problem with the dogs biting our son.
Maybe try a training class or two before the baby gets home. You never know, your bullie may become so protective of the baby and everything will be solved. I've read dogs often think babies are they're own.
Good luck!  

[Susan & the bullies]

I really feel for you. This is a very  hard situation. I don't have any insights to offer...just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you all.

[My Little Leo]

Thanks guys, I just went upstairs and Prissy was asleep on the couch and I started crying again! I guess the pregnancy hormones aren't helping things, either!

We had to wake Prissy up and take a few pictures.

[HorseMom]

Gosh, this is a tough situation.  Personally, I wouldn't get rid of Prissy.  That's just me.  When I take on an animal, it's "for better or for worse 'til death do us part."  But, you have your own child to consider.  I think it's actually good that you know Prissy can be a biter because now you can make plans to deal with her occasional habit as you welcome a child into your lives.  Protecting your child is your first priority, but Prissy may even welcome a little isolation from all the chaos that a new baby can bring!  Best of luck, and keep us updated.  (I'd keep Prissy---even if you have to isolate her sometimes...)

[khybeemaow]

My heart goes out to you and reading your post brought tears to my eyes. You are facing a really hard decision with no really good answers. If Prissy hasn't already seen a behavioral specialist, I urge you to get her evaluated by a reputable behaviorist for advice. Don't try to make this decision on your own.

[Boomers-Dad]

ouch, no advice here, but I hope you guys the best of luck

[MedicBarbie]

Wow.. Lori.. I am so sorry you're going through this.

This topic has come up in our house on more than one occasion... like Prissy, Phats is a sweetie 99.9 percent of the time, but she will snap.  She's never bitten to the point of drawing blood, and it's never unless she's provoked for some reason - as with Prissy, it's if she's startled, or you do something that you KNOW she doesn't like (ie.  touching her back feet when she's sleeping).  I know that all of these reactions are as a result of the way she was treated in the past.  She's so damn smart that she doesn't forget what happened to her.  She lived with some teenage boys who I am sure tortured the hell out of her, because every time she sees a teenage kid, she goes NUTS.

We've often wondered how she'd be with a baby, and quite honestly Phats is very protective of what she percieves as being hers (ie US, the house, and Chubbs - LOL!) 

My thought is that Phats will want to PROTECT the child, percieving that it's part of the family.. that is my hope, anyway.  I don't know what advice to give you  - whoever said to let Derek bring the baby in is correct.. make sure you bring home a baby blanket for Prissy AND Leo to sleep with before you bring the baby home.. this way they already know her scent (oops, I called the baby a HER.. LOL!!)

The thought of giving away Phats is not an option to me.  She's been though 6 homes, and I won't make her do it again.  She's had enough tough times, it's time for her to be happy.  I will do everything possible to keep her.  If it means that Phats can't go near the baby, then that's how it will be.  I, like you, know that Phats is also 6 and I'm quite certain she's only through the first half of her life... she's going to be around a long time.

I wish you the best with your decision, it's a rough one, and no one here would ever be judgemental if you decided to re-home her.  I would be more than happy to take her if I had the room... she'd give Phats a run for her money... LOL!!  That would be one HELL of a drive though!!

We're all here for you, feel free to ramble on!!! 

[lubbincarl&gerty]

Oh Lori, I'm so sorry this is such a crappy situation.  I agree with most, that taking on a dog is a for better or for worse position, and I don't think it has to be that bad.  For example, you don't necessarily have to keep her isolated at all times, but maybe just when the baby is on the floor.  Do you think Prissy would break into a pack and play? It doesn't seem liek she's agressive, just scares easily, and I think it would be pretty easy to minimize that anxiety.
Best of luck in whatever you do.

[Maggpie]

AWWWW, Lori      You just have to feel like crapola right about now     Here is my 2 cents......... since you know how Prissy is and you know that you would not leave your child left alone with a dog no matter what anyway, I would postpone the thinking of this entire subject.  Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy Prissy and her 99% lovable personality, enjoy Derek and how supportive and loving he is, and enjoy lovable Leo.  get thru the pregnancy and bringing Heather Jr. or Elliott home and all the joys she/he will bring to your life as well.  If the matter presents itself in a dangerous way and you are at that point so uncomfortable, you will have to face the issue then, but for right now, since Prissy has been on her best behavior since November until now, I would wait on it.

Whatever you decide you know that we are all here for you and that we will support you and Derek.

[My Little Leo]

Thank you for all of your advice, guys! I knew I would feel better after hearing from everyone!

We discussed Prissy right after we found out I was pregnant, and we both agreed 100% that we were more than ready and willing to take all the precautions necessary to make sure that everyone was safe at all times.  Really, nothing has changed, it's just that I was so sure that Prissy was done with biting for good, so seeing her do it again after so long put some doubts in my head.. Especially when there was really no reason for it this time.

I just could not bear putting Prissy through all the scary things that a new home brings, she sure doesn't deserve that, and I just would miss her so much!(I am tearing up again just thinking of it! )

 I think that we will see if we can talk to a behaviorist, and we will just take things day by day... If, after the baby comes, I still have doubts about her ( ) safety, then we will discuss the option of re-homing Prissy at that time....blech, it just feels so horrible to even type that.

I was so torn.. I felt like a bad bully mom for even thinking of giving her up, and also like an irresponsible human mom for thinking it would be safe to keep her.

I feel better now, thanks again everyone! I sure do love you guys! 

[lucybenson]

We have a simiilar issue with Benson...he will jump on us, scratch, nip, and even bite when he hears us yelling, playing around or sometimes even if we move to quickly.  We consulted a behavior specialist in our area because I was concerned that it was an aggressive issue and I wanted to be sure that he could be around children safely.  The behaviorist made me feel a lot better, she said that he likes peace and that's his way of getting us to calm down and keep the peace, just like he would do if two dogs in the pack started to fight.  She also had ways to work with Benson so he wouldn't get so upset and attack.  He's been better, not 100%, but better.  And I was also able to ask her a few other questions...for example, both of our dogs LOVE balls and try to get the ball at any cost...doesn't matter who has the ball or where it is.  They will jump, run in the street, and charge anyone who has the ball.  The behaviorist said simply to keep the dogs inside when children have balls because they are still animals and can be unpredictable...my two are great with children, just not when they are playing with balls and that's something we need to be aware of when we have them outside or have children over to the house.  I would consult someone before you make any decisions...it really made me feel better and helped me understand my dogs because I too feel that it's 'til death do us part!

[tankdixie]

I am so sad for you that you are going through this. I am trying to think where I read an article about animals and bringing newborns home. In it it suggested before bringing the baby home to get a baby doll that makes sounds and work with the animals that way. Let the dogs see and hear the baby cry(sorry) and such. And to take the babydoll for a walk in a stroller with the dogs so they can get use to the stroller. I don't know, just a few ideas. Hope everything works out for the best 

[khybeemaow]

I'm glad you are feeling a little better. I think the consult will really help too. In rescue we get dogs with behavioral issues which are often the reason why the owner gave up their dog. Even though we are experienced, we often seek consults and the behaviorist's advice usually helps turn the dog around into a good candidate for adoption. Fiona has also had a consult for her aggression. Many people tried to talk me into having her put down but I wouldn't hear of it until I heard it from a professional that she was too far gone. The behaviorist explained why she acted the way she did and gave me advice and re-training techniques. It worked - that was 3 months ago and Fiona is a completely different dog today - much happier, relaxed and no longer vigilant against imagined threats.

You are not a bad bullie mom or irresponsible person - you are a good bullie/baby mom for trying to do the right thing for bullie and baby. It will all work out.